Looking forward
by 2section
Summary: A lot of water has passed under the bridge and the time has come to face the future.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**18 months on from their last meeting…**

A lot had happened in the last eighteen months both good and bad. Whilst getting ready for this evening Charles had time to reflect on the turn of events.

When he had opened the front door of his parents' house all that time ago his world had turned upside down. He'd been speechless in that moment, seeing Molly for the first time in 3 months. Little did he know that the next 24 hours would see it turn upside down again.

They had consumed one another for hours both physically and mentally. There seemed so much to say and convey that once the dawn had come, sleep inevitably took hold of both of them.

On stirring from his slumber, Charles was aware of an absence beside him. It was mid-morning now and the autumn sun was low in the sky, penetrating his gritty eyelids. A smile crept upon his lips and calmness settled on his once wrung out brow – Molly – she'd come back to him.

Charles found Molly downstairs in the kitchen; her back was turned towards him, unaware of his approach and unaware that he could hear her. He retreated a little deciding to make more of his advance, to give her time to right herself after a long night.

Startled, Molly turned round with lips swollen, eyes red and skin inflamed from the excesses of the previous day and night, Charles assumed. Her beauty heightened by her innocent, vulnerable face.

"I've been thinking…" she started.

"Oh Dawes, that does sound dangerous" Charles chuckled.

They both smiled at the memory of a previous conversation enjoyed at the beginning of their first tour together.

"Please Charles, this is important" there was steeliness to her voice that made him uneasy.

"Whilst I've been away I've spent more hours thinking about you, us than I care to admit. I've lost sleep and my mind trying to reconcile a future for us. Trying to understand how we can overcome the shame of our beginning, the differences in our lives, and backgrounds. Whilst I would give my last breath to have just one more night with you, I truly believe that leaving it now whilst we still have our memories and positive thoughts of one another is better than soiling an uncertain future." A single tear escaped from her puffy eyes, she wiped it away roughly with the back of her hand.

Lost for words once again, the colour draining from Charles' face…..where to begin, was this really happening?

"Molly, please don't do this, have you forgotten about yesterday, about how it felt to be together after so long?" He wasn't one to plead but he had nothing to lose. But if he knew anything about Molly, it was that she was decisive and incredibly stubborn.

They talked on for another hour or so, some of the time the exchanges were heated, but mostly a feeling of resignation and sadness enveloped them.

In all honesty, what she had said wasn't something that he hadn't thought of himself, but once again she had taken the lead trying to do the right thing. Now all he had were memories of their tour together and two perfect days.

The intervening 18 months had indeed been eventful and try as he might, Charles did want to move on. Life was too short he was keenly aware of that, but it had been almost impossible to achieve the same level of calmness that Molly Dawes' presence offered.

The need to find employment had been the most pressing task once he had completed his rehab. It had been a lot harder than he expected, but he did manage to eventually settle into his role at a consultancy firm. The job didn't offer the same challenges he was used to in the Army. This was offset by the fact that he was able to see Sam regularly; so frequently in fact, that he and Rebecca had fallen into an awkward liaison that lasted more than 6 months. It was careless on his part to embark on a relationship with her, totally unfair on both her and Sam. At the time there was a belief that they were doing the right thing, trying to put Sam's needs ahead of their own.

Being a civilian again had taken some getting used to. The routine and monotony of day to day life messed with his head occasionally. He'd ensured that every weekend was busy visiting old friends from university and Army colleagues that were home on leave. Too many Sunday mornings were spent nursing a hangover and occasionally waking up in unexpected places. He believed that he was making some sort of progress; life was on the whole good. Although his thoughts too often strayed into difficult territory, not helped by former colleagues sharing stories of Molly and her continued progress and success.

Charles had thought about the last day they'd spent together too frequently and wished that he'd said more, fought harder and had more belief that they could succeed. Getting in touch had been an option of course, but Molly had insisted that it was the right decision for both of them. Self-preservation of sort; although she would have never phrased it like that. He smiled at the thought of her quizzical face when he said things that she didn't understand. Part of her charm.

This evening's events should be interesting and if nothing else eventful, Charles hadn't seen some of these guys for a long time and there was always plenty of banter, ribbing and camaraderie. In the confines of his hotel room he poured a whiskey to steady his nerves…nerves, what did he have to be nervous about? A drink with old friends, that was all that this was. He looked over his appearance. Many of them wouldn't have seen him dressed so casually and he felt less in command (of himself and emotions) as a result. It had been a while since he'd met up with some of these soldiers; he was looking forward to seeing them, but was still full of apprehension about the guest list and the coming hours.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**18 months on from their last meeting…**

So much had taken place over the last eighteen months, there had been plenty of ups and downs. Whilst getting ready for her night out, Molly had time to mull over how things had turned out.

She had approached the Royal Crescent with a determination and intention, to share with Charles her thoughts, spelling out from the off that there was no future for them. However, when he had opened the front door of his parents' house all that time ago, her resolve had weakened. The utter joy he'd managed to communicate through his smile had shocked her. Hypnotised by it, she was unable to complete what she'd set out to do.

On closing the door, he'd taken her hand and without a word, led her upstairs. Whilst she knew she should have resisted, the intensity of his gaze had overwhelmed her. The level of tension and emotion in that look had scared her slightly and the silence added to the anticipation of what was to come. They had undressed one another slowly, maintaining eye contact as each item of clothing slid to the floor. Touching and caressing, hungry for one another and although this hadn't been what she had intended to happen nothing had felt more right.

They'd spent a lot of that afternoon talking, laughing and kissing, all the while Molly knew that she wasn't making it any easier on either of them. He had drifted off to sleep easily in the early hours of the morning, but for her, this had been more fitful as she pondered their situation. Their differences hadn't seemed so important while they were on tour. They had been part of a larger team, a kind of family with all of its oddities. The realities of their home lives distant and seemingly unimportant.

Molly had risen early and made her way to the kitchen. Clearing away last night's uneaten food of which there was plenty, their appetites satisfied elsewhere. Her face ached from lack of sleep, rubbing her eyes as silent tears fell, as she realised that the conversation between her and Charles was imminent.

Absorbed in her feelings and the task of preparing breakfast, she hadn't heard Charles approach and was surprised when he entered. She turned around quickly when he strolled into the room, it was important to seize the moment before the day began.

"I've been thinking…" her voice had sounded shaky to her own ears.

"Oh Dawes, that does sound dangerous" Charles' eyes had raked over her face acknowledging its exhaustion.

"Please Charles, this is important" it had come out a little sharper than she had intended as she couldn't afford for this situation to go on any longer. This was more painful than she could have imagined. She needed to make her voice heard before Charles could say too much to dissolve her intent.

"Whilst I've been away I've spent more hours thinking about you, us, than I care to admit. I've lost sleep, and my mind, trying to reconcile a future for us. I've tried to understand how we can overcome the shame of our beginning, the differences in our lives, and backgrounds. Whilst I would give my last breath to have just one more night with you, I truly believe that leaving it now whilst we still have our memories and positive thoughts of one another, is better than soiling an uncertain future." Molly held her breath and her head, watching through blurred eyes as the tears fell to the floor.

Charles' face could not hide the pain, the depth of hurt in his eyes was torturous. They had talked on for a while trying to find a way to make it work, but Molly had sensed that even though she had been the first to voice her fears, Charles wasn't without doubts about the future. They no longer lived in the bubble of Afghanistan and life in the UK was not going to change anytime soon.

Leaving Bath that day had been agonising. They had shared a final kiss on the doorstep, holding each other for too long. Eventually, Molly pulled away. This was never going to be easy and she needed him to believe that it was the right path for both of them. She wanted him to be happy and to have a life he deserved. She wanted them to remember their time together for what it was – wonderful, intense, tender and she was sure for him, maddening on occasion.

"I love you" Charles had said turning from her that last time.

And as Molly had walked away she whispered "Ditto" hearing the door slam shut.

Over the following months the Army had been kind to Molly, keeping her busy at Pirbright, training new recruits and she even managed to go on a couple of short tours. Molly had been able to embark on every opportunity that had presented itself. Dedicating herself to each task that came her way, she absorbed every experience. Continuing to improve herself as a soldier, she gained more self-confidence, and amongst her colleagues, earning their respect. She needed that level of focus in order to stop listening to the voices that questioned whether Charles and she had done the right thing. These thoughts had returned regularly in the quiet hours of the morning when there were no distractions.

Inevitably, there had been a few frogs kissed along the way and even a short relationship, but in all honesty Molly's heart wasn't in it. In order to commit to someone long term she knew that she needed to move on from the past and, for her, not enough water had flowed under the bridge for that to happen.

That evening's gathering was an unexpected surprise as she'd hadn't received the verbal invitation until week prior. A mix up about whether she was a true Under 5, because she was only attached to the unit as a medic. Molly was looking forward to seeing everyone again, although it was only now that she'd finished getting ready, did she wonder who would be there. She assumed it was a Private led event, due to the lack of organisation. It had been too long since Molly had seen some of these guys and, although the old Molly Dawes was still in there, they would notice that she had changed not only her appearance but also her attitude. She now had a self-assurance that comes with age and belief in her own abilities.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Pushing the foyer doors open just before half past seven, Charles heard the masses before he saw them. The function room for their event was up ahead and, although the invitation had said 8.00pm, plenty of people had already arrived.

Charles wasn't ready to enter the foray just yet, so he made his way to the bar before anyone saw him. He smiled as he entered the lounge; it appeared that a number of people felt like him. He approached an old colleague with an outstretched hand and immediately relaxed as a drink was ordered for him. It was going to be a good night; he'd missed these people, their humour and approach to life.

The bar quickly filled up and space became tight over the next half an hour. Charles snatched glimpses of Fingers, Brains and Nude Nut. He'd have time to catch up properly with them later when they moved into the formal function room, where there was more room to circulate. It was only as he was about to turn back and order another drink, did lose his composure a little. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Jackie, an Army medic from Afghanistan. Charles was sure that this was a strictly Under 5's event and not for attached personnel. He was confident and certain he would have noticed if the invitation had indicated differently. With mixed feelings, his eyes scanned the room; he needed to understand if Molly was there. He couldn't see her however he must remain alert.

The group from the bar were ushered through at just after 8.00pm and again, Charles' eyes searched for a diminutive figure. His shoulders sagged slightly as he let out the breath he'd been holding when he realised Molly wasn't there. A wave of disappointment caught him by surprise; she still had the ability to play with his emotions even 18 months later. He really needed to sort himself out.

The large function room was set up of two halves. The chairs were lined up ready for a selection of short speeches and presentations from senior personnel, and the throng were being encouraged to take their seats. This part of the evening could be painful if not executed correctly. A good raconteur was needed to keep all parties interested and the restlessness at bay.

At the opposite end of the room, the catering staff were finalising the buffet.

Charles had drunk too much and quickly made his way to the toilet. He wanted to be ready for when the speeches began. And that's when it happened; whilst he was making his way hurriedly back towards the seating area. Molly had entered the hall. Realising she was late, she discretely took a seat on the right hand side towards the middle beside Fingers, who leant in and gave her a warm kiss on the cheek. She had returned the gesture by punching him playfully on the arm. They both giggled before focusing themselves on Major Beck, who was half way through his opening talk.

Charles stepped back into the shadows of the room; it was too late now to sit down at the front without drawing attention to himself. He would have to 'wait out', a phrase that evoked thoughts of the past, when he thought they had time ahead of them.

Charles stood for over an hour at the back of the room, not letting Molly out of his sight once. There had been presentations, acknowledgements for outstanding achievement, as well as an impromptu photo call, but he only had the ability to focus her.

The evening was good natured and the vibe in the room continued to lift. With the formal part of the evening finished, the soldiers were now able to socialise and let their hair down. It was at this point he was able to really observe Molly. Standing now, she'd turned and laughed at something Dangleberries had said, adjusting her dress as she did so. She looked incredible, her loose hair shorter than before, framing her elfin face perfectly.

Before Charles had time to decide what to do, Major Beck pulled him to the bar, wishing to engage his former colleague about how civilian life was treating him. They discussed old friends and reminisced about the tours they'd shared. It felt good to be back amongst like-minded people and now he wanted to enjoy the company of Two Section. Really thank them for their efforts and support on that last tour.

Charles made his way over to the buffet, grabbed himself a plate and joined the assembled group at the end of table.

Fingers, Baz, Nude-nut…" he continued to acknowledge everyone that gathered around him and, they in unison had responded, "Boss".

"Molly's here too, Sir", Brains said, "She's just gone to speak to Jackie".

"I'll catch up with her later then. Now, you Cockwombles, how have things been without me?" he'd barked and they'd all laughed.

What a great group of lads. They'd grown up and he was proud to see that there might be a few Corporals of the future amongst them.

With the chairs now cleared away, the Army band was assembled on stage, already starting to belt out tunes. With many of them familiar to the squaddies from their time on tour, the Privates joined in the singing with varying degrees of success.

Watching on and nursing his drink, Charles smiled. He at once felt a presence behind him as she walked up and whispered cheekily "Fancy a dance". Turning sharply he searched her face and became lost in the moment. Placing his glass on the bar he took her hand and led her to the dance floor, pulling her to him, ensuring that the heat of their bodies continued to rise. The tempo of the music changed now, slow and rhythmic. The feelings that he had tried to suppress had instantly returned and he was determined that this time he wasn't going to let them go.

The music was too loud, making it difficult to speak, and in the end they'd given up and resorted to enjoy the moment of intimacy on the dance floor. She buried her face in his chest and he held her close, relishing her curves.

As the final song finished, Charles looked down at Molly holding her face in his hands "I can't do this anymore, I don't want to do this anymore….." He was unable to finish the sentence as the whole of Two Section collided into them, jumping up and down laughing.

Now separated from one another, with the dance floor filing up for the final song, Charles searched desperately for Molly in order to finish what he wanted to say; only to see her back, as she retreated through the main doors.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Molly checked over her appearance one last time before leaving the house. Not so long ago she would have plastered makeup on her then worn out face, but this evening, only the minimal amount was needed. A hint of a tan from her last tour still lingered and gave her a healthy glow.

The dress and shoes were a complete departure from her old life. It was unnecessary for the fabric to touch every part of her body, to show everything that was on offer. She had more self-respect these days and wanted to be valued for more than the obvious.

Trying to find a taxi at this time of night was trickier than she had anticipated and Molly realised that whilst waiting at the rank that she was going to be cutting it fine to arrive on time for 8.00pm. There had been a number of admiring glances and a couple of guys had offered to share their cabs into town, but with nerves mounting, she really wanted to spend the time alone composing herself, so she politely declined. This had made her smile. Once, this kind of approach would have resulted in her either swearing like a trooper or going on to spend the night somewhere unsavoury with one of them. Thank God that life was a thing of the past.

The driver was chatty, asking about where she was off to, what the event was and whilst she answered the questions, she didn't expand. Molly really didn't want conversation; it was silence that she craved, time to gather her thoughts.

"Thanks mate", she paid for the cab and hurriedly made her way through the double doors of the hotel.

Molly's eyes searched everywhere for information on the Under 5's event as she realised that the anxieties had finally got to her.

"May I help you madam?" the doorman had asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Um, I'm late and due to attend an Army event, gonna tell me where I need to be fella" rushed Molly adjusting her dress whilst trying to compose herself.

"The Main Hall is up ahead madam" he smiled kindly. Sensing her unease he added "You look lovely, enjoy your evening".

Running now towards the double doors Molly shouted back "Cheers".

Molly pushed at the entrance doors slowly realizing that the speeches had already begun. Standing at the top of the stairs for a moment trying to gauge the crowd she took a number of deep breaths before making her way towards 2 Section who she could see were seated in the middle of the room. Sitting down quietly beside Fingers, who turned sharply before breaking into the biggest smile and giving her a brotherly hug. Molly was able to relax a little now and was even able to look down the rest of the seated rows to see if there was anyone else she knew. Jackie looked over and indicated that they should catch up later, to which Molly nodded. Before turning back to focus on the speeches, Molly scanned her eyes over the party again, noting that there were senior personnel present. It most definitely wasn't just a Private event. "Opps, fucked up again" she thought smiling to herself.

The speeches did go on a bit in Molly's opinion and she became restless, even considered nipping to the toilet, but thought better of it. She waited until the formal part of the evening was being wrapped up before moving from her seat. 'The Boys' gathered around her hugging, kissing, commenting on how different she looked, and she in turn talked about what she'd been up to since she last saw them.

"Molly, we saw the Boss earlier, when we were in the bar" Nude-Nut said "He said he'd catch up with us later"

"That's great; it'd be cool to see him again. It's been too long" she said through a drying mouth. With a thumping heart she looked around the hall again. The lights had dimmed now, but she was able to make out the laughing silhouette of the Boss as he turned towards the bar.

"I need to go and see Jackie for a bit. I'll catch up with you numpties later, yeah" and with that she quickly made her way out to the foyer. Molly needed air; this was proving harder than she had anticipated. Ridiculous really, after all this time. She truly hadn't expected to see Charles this evening and as tears pricked her eyes, her thoughts returned to their last meeting. What a fool she'd been…"I need a drink" she muttered under her breath.

The lounge bar was relatively quiet and she took a seat at the back so as not to be seen. Molly pondered whether she should leave now with her pride still intact, or get this 'situation' out of the way and enjoy the rest of the evening with 2 Section. She threw back her drink and opted for the later. Rising from the chair she made her way to the function room with a confidence that she really didn't possess.

With her heart in her mouth Molly snuck up behind Charles and whispered "Fancy a dance". It wasn't what she'd planned, but in for a penny, she thought.

Charles spun round, locking his eye on hers. If she considered that her feelings had subsided over the intervening 18 months, she was completely mistaken. She was speechless, unable to find something jokey to say to ease the tension that was now paralysing her.

He took her hand roughly, not saying a word, and led her to the floor; she followed willingly.

They danced slowly and she felt herself relaxing, enjoying his touch. She'd been without it for so long that it was a surprise to her how normal it felt. Unable to speak, Molly let herself consider that this was where she belonged, that she had been hasty previously and that they could start again.

The band finished their penultimate song and Charles placed his warm hands on her cheeks "I can't do this anymore, I don't want to do this anymore….." , their eyes now locked solid onto each other. 2 Section had thankfully ploughed into them at that moment. She was grateful she was saved further embarrassment and was able to leave the dance floor without too much trouble.

Molly had been a fool she realised to even start to believe that Charles hadn't moved on, of course he had and this is what she had wanted for him, a good life. She pushed open the foyer doors and let the evening Spring air dry her damp face. No more regrets, keep moving forward, just as he had done.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Charles stood with his hands on his waist in the middle of the floor, looked upwards and took a deep breath. "That didn't go well….fuck". He berated himself. He ran his tongue over his teeth whilst taking a minute to consider what to do.

"Boss, you alright" Kinders asked, concerned. He could see Captains James' mood had changed and couldn't fathom why.

"Yep, great Kinders, I'll be back in a moment" Charles shouted over his shoulder as he made his way across a noisy main hall.

Pushing the double doors open, leaving the cacophony of the band behind him, Charles entered the silence of the foyer. The contrast was immediate and he again stood for a moment to gather his thoughts. Realising that he needed to find Molly quickly, he started to ask around, hoping that someone could appreciate the urgency in his voice and tell him if they'd seen her.

The staff dithered and he could feel his frustration rising, while they made various calls to other members of staff. In the end, he walked out the front of the hotel in order to gain some head space. The warmth of the evening eased his tension slightly as he rested his body against the sandstone building. His attempt to explain himself really hadn't gone as he'd intended. Whilst he knew Molly had been in the room, he'd been caught off guard, not expecting her to approach him like that. It had left him on the back foot, unable to control the situation. Not a feeling he was used to.

Whilst gathering his thoughts, Charles scanned the passers-by, noting that the evening sunshine was raising their spirits. There was plenty of laughter in the air as they went about their business. If only he could feel as carefree in that moment, he thought. The evening possessed all the elements to be brilliantly memorable, but once again, his clumsiness and his inability to be concise had cost him dearly.

Whilst mulling over how best to sort out the mess, Charles didn't see Molly at first as she rounded the corner of the street. It wasn't until she got closer, did they both stop in their tracks. Looking at each other warily, they stood for a moment, both hesitant to speak first.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you mid dance, it's just…. I needed some air" Molly started.

Charles took a depth breath, looking around them before refocusing on her. Seize the moment he told himself.

Standing so close to Molly that she was concerned, Charles spoke firmly, "Molly, repeat after me".

"Lets" Charles opened

"Lets" Molly repeated

"get"

"get"

"in – fucking – volved, because I need you 100% by my side. I messed up earlier, it came out all wrong. I don't want to be without you anymore and I really can't continue doing what I've been doing for the last 18 months".

Taking a deep breath Molly let the words rest on her tired face. The evening so far had been harder than it should have been and she was struggling to process and believe, what Charles had just said.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked quietly, whilst twisting her hands.

"Dawes…." Charles pulled her sharply by the waist towards him "Stop talking". His hands touched her face, kissing her softly, not allowing his eyes to leave her face. He wanted her to understand that he'd meant everything he'd said and that this time, she wasn't going to walk away from him without a fight. He'd felt what it had been like to live half a life, he'd tried to make it work. Even though he understood that the time ahead would be a challenge with Molly, he knew that more than anything, he wanted a future with her. This woman frustrated him like no other, but equally, she had the ability to calm him and give him a sense peace too.

Molly's eyes searched Charles' face. She wanted to stop battling her feelings and give herself to him. She feared the unknown, but realised that it was time to take a risk. Life was too hard without him and if there was only a small chance of happiness, she was prepared to try. If Molly had learned anything in the Army, it was that tomorrow may never come and she really wanted to live in this moment forever.

Taking Molly by the hand, Charles led her back to the hotel. It wasn't that he felt the need to go back and see 2 Section again, but he knew that Molly would. She was as fond of them as they were of her, and whilst she was still in the Army, it was important that he supported her.

As they reached the entrance, their entwined fingers separated from one another, understanding that this wasn't the time to display their feelings.

They made their way independently into the hall and without saying anything, Molly went to find Jackie, stealing a quick look at Charles before she did so. The smile on his face told her all she needed to know and she set off into the crowd, safe in the knowledge that as soon as the end of the evening came, she would be close to him once again.

The next hour was enjoyable and there was plenty of laughter and frivolity with the Under 5's. A number of them suggested that they meet up more regularly if tours allowed. It was agreed with Molly that she should be the organiser of a less formal event in the summer. "God, those muppets were lazy" she thought, but she knew she would do it. Whenever she was in their company, they always made her feel special. As the party thinned, Molly and Charles shared a look which they both understood and discretely made their way outside.

"Happy?" Charles asked.

"Very" Molly whispered, and he took her hand and led her across the road where they stopped and became lost in the moment, allowing the chaos around them fall away.

Exiting the hotel, Corporal Kinders tried to hail a taxi. Without much success, he made his way further down the congested road. Believing he had a better chance on the other side of the street, he was just about to cross when he stopped abruptly.

"At last" he muttered under his breath, as he watched his former Captain and Molly succumb to each other. It had taken a long time but they'd got there in the end.He turned smiling and walked the other way.

**Many thanks for all of your kind words, they're really appreciated. **

**I never doubted that they would get there in the end. Thanks for enjoying the ride with me. Over and out!**


End file.
